just wanted to blog... @ 7:39 AM
suddenly have the urge to blog...so i blog lo...everytime will have these moments...'i'll make my blog alive!! try to blog every now and then..' BUT! den...after like 2 weeks? tops...my blog will sleep like sleeping beauty...lol...i still visit my blog...to see how she preserve her beauty by sleeping...cos nothing will chamge...including the tag box...lol...den...visit other ppl blog...will again ignite the fire in mi to blog...ubt...as u can see...it NEVER last long... so hope tat i will continue like this ba....lol...as in continue to blog..post at least once every day or so...short short one oso nvm...got post ju ok le...got post ppl will visit...i dunno why...lol...but ya...i just wan ppl to come see my blog la...and another reason is...i still have like $47 more till i can cash out...>.< ya abit pai sey...but...THERE! i've said it...so i have to face it...and i mean the nuffnang thingy la...but now like never post any add on my that thingy liao leh...anyway...just click can?? plz~~~ just click on it when ever u can visit can?~~~ PLZ LA~~
parents is out...yap...at such a late hour...the best thing is...i dunno where they go...i think they go buy ingredient for cny dishes...haiz...dunno wat time they coming back...
sisters....dun live with mi liao...sort off la...nah..i dun wanna talk about it...
ME! alone at home...in an absolutely empty house...the onli living species is...my 6 tortises and a hamster...den...haiz...use to it can le la...
and...HERES MY GRANDMOTHER STORY...(erm...in case u get the wrong idea...i mean grandmother story as in it was long...and kinda old...not my father mother de story...k? XD)
always been returning to an empty house since primary school...took care of myself...breakfast, lunch and dinner...den...most of my time is...in fact spend alone...the happy times...ya noe...when result is good or got happy news or something...the sad times...well...things happen...ya noe...den...alone lo...den as times goes by...i do not...in fact never said any of my thoughts and feelings to anyone of my family members....reason being...i find it pointless lo...den they not with mi oso...den sisters age gap so big...i primary tat time..they busy dating and all...oso dun realli care about a small kid....'drama' well tats wat i think la...so i grew up with this mentality....
i was alone...i never like strangers coming to my house...and tat actually includes my relative...its wrong i noe...tat time when my sister wedding tat time all my relative come to our house...i was...kinda uncomfortable...i dun like...seriously...no...i dun like...and theres the time when my sis say her bf coming to my house...i went out immediately...and return onli when they leave...abit drastic hor...but i realli cant help it la...
sometime i wishes tat the whole house is mine...so no one will come back...to disturb mi...am i suffering from depression?...now i found a way le...i just go to my room...cos no one sharing room with mi now ma...den i can cry my heart/eyes out...and no one will noe....HA! lol...
yap...and i seldom cry infront of my families due to emotional thingy....i onli cried infront of them when i was like throwing tampturm(sorry...i dunno how to spell this word...but...u get my drift la...do u?)...the onli thing tat saw mi cry is my room wall...my pillows...my bed and my blanket...
and...once i was into hitting myself...ya...kinda painful...u dun wanna noe wat i did...
oh and i cry alot...during the night...i can cry by thinking the face of someone...someone i love....dearly...and misses like crazy...i even thought of hurting myself so the person will come and see mi...but...ya...thought onli...and no...its not a guy...i wun hurt myself for ANY guy...so ya...dun any how think...
geez...i say until i like mentally unstable like tat...NO!! I DUN DO ALL THOSE ANYMORE...I ONLI CRY NOW...it relives stress ok?!
i wrote this sentence in my dairy
'tears fall like raindrops...is the monsoon season here?'
so...ya...thats how frequently i cry...
PPL~~ PLZ FORGET ALL THESE AFTER U'VE READ CAN? I SHARED MY SECRET WITH U...WHEN U SEE MI OR WAT...DUN...PLZ...DUN ASK OR SAY...THX...this is the onli condition for sharing my secret....
thanks and bye~ dun forget to tag~and click tat bow below the tag box...hehe
P/S: i'm perfectly normal...cos i'm able to say all these out and admit tat i'm wrong K?!
